"When I go home, I will die."

I went to jail today. More accurately it was a facility for young boys (roughly 14-20) who are awaiting trial, although many do serve out their sentences there. What struck me first was that this place harboring young men who have committed unspeakable crimes is actually in a beautiful place. Bonnytoun, the facility, is outside of Cape Town on the way to the wine lands. We turned in to the driveway and all around were lavender fields. These bright, little, purple flowers surrounded the high walls and barbed wire fencing that is Bonnytoun.

                I couldn’t help but thinking this contrast was very fitting as Cape Town is a city full of contrast. Extreme wealth and extreme poverty are in extremely close proximity in Cape Town. Bonnytoun, in a way, also reflects this disparity. The beauty of the lavender fields and the brokenness of this young boys’ detention facility are adjacent to one another. I have yet to wrap my head around how these contrasts can coexist, but the fact of the matter is that they do.

Just food for thought. Anyway, Bonnytoun is one of Projects Abroad’s Human Rights Office (PAHRO) social justice project. We go there to hold workshops with the boys. Due to violence in Bonnytoun, the boys are usually only let out of their cells to eat and then are sent back to their colorless, concrete room. Today, we brought an article along about gang violence in Lavender Hill, a sketchy area/township in Cape Town. (Here’s the link to the article: http://www.iol.co.za/capetimes/in-a-month-i-ll-be-dead-1.1168293)

We split up into groups to talk to the boys about their thoughts on the article. Kayla and I grouped together with about six or seven of the boys. As it turns out, two of them are from Lavender Hill and are members of the Funky Junky Kids (one of the major gangs in Lavender Hill). They got wide-eyed when we read the article aloud. I think it’s because it struck a chord with them. We talked briefly with them about gang life and how it’s essentially impossible for them to get out of the gang. We talked about tik (meth) and how they and the Corner Boys (their rival gang) are slaughtering each other over it. We talked about why they were there. My conversation with one of the boys from Lavender Hill:

Me: How long have you been here for?

Boy: One week and two days.

Me: How long will you be here for?

Boy: I am here for murder.

I didn’t know how to respond. This boy (eighteen, just like me) was sitting opposite me just one week after he had killed somebody. His reasoning: he didn’t even remember doing it. He was high on tik…

                Another boy in our group was also awaiting his trial on a murder charge. What happened, you may ask. He went to rob a woman and she tried to defend herself. So he stabbed her.

                Me: Do you feel bad about it?

                Him: If I didn’t kill her she was gonna try and kill me. I wasn’t going to kill her, I just wanted her

money.

Needless to say it was a very intense experience. We tried talking to the boys about their dreams, how they were going to change things for themselves when they got out, what positive things they would do for the community if they had money (the one who murdered the woman for money said he would use the money to get high every day, positive right?), etc. On the one hand, it was a bit disheartening. You want to go in there and talk to them and be like, yeah things are gonna change for the better when you get home and you’re going to be an entirely new person! That’s not the reality of the situation. Life in a township does not provide much (or any) opportunity to move up in the world. These boys feel the need to join a gang for the protection the gang offers even though joining can also be a death sentence.

                We asked the boys what things will be like when they go home. The one who stabbed the woman: When I go home, I will die.

                When I go home, I my mom will greet me at the airport, most likely with tears streaming down her face, and wrap me in a huge hug. When I go home, I will climb into my big warm bed in my big warm house and sleep like a baby. When I go home, I will consume Mexican food and Velvet yogurt in ridiculous quantities. When he goes home, he believes he will die.

                More contrast.

                On the bright side, one of the boys was incredibly responsive. When we asked him what he wanted to be in life he said “a father”. His father wasn’t around when he was growing up, but he wants to be there for his kids. He had been at Bonnytoun for seven months and is finally having his trial at the end of this month. He wants to raise a family, have a house, and maybe even be a doctor one day. He wants a future. He is planning on death when he gets home, he is planning his life.

                Walking out of Bonnytoun the lavender fields were still there. Despite the tik and gangs and violence that infiltrate these boys’ lives, there is some color right outside. And I know that at least one of them wants to experience it. For now, that a success.